Post 002
When Loving Them Meant Losing Me
You don’t notice it happening at first.
The small ways you bend yourself.
The silences you keep.
The excuses you make—to them, to others, and eventually to yourself.
You tell yourself it’s just temporary.
That the drinking isn’t that bad.
That the gambling will stop.
That if you can love harder, try harder, stay steadier—it will all work out.
But one day you wake up and realize:
the person you’ve lost isn’t just them.
It’s you.
The Subtle Disappearance
Loving someone in addiction has a way of erasing you slowly.
Not all at once.
Piece by piece.
You stop laughing the way you used to.
You stop answering honestly when someone asks how you are.
You stop trusting your own voice—because theirs is louder, angrier, or more fragile.
And before you know it, you’re gone.
Still functioning, still surviving,
but a hollowed version of the woman you once were.
The Awakening
My own moment of awakening was quiet.
It wasn’t a fight or a rock bottom—
it was the whisper of truth I could no longer ignore:
“I am losing myself in the name of love.
And that isn’t love at all.”
That realization cracked something open in me.
Painful, yes. But also freeing.
Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
You begin to wonder what it would look like
to come home to yourself again.
Coming Back
Finding yourself again is not about blame or shame.
It’s about compassion.
It’s about remembering that your soul was never broken—
only buried under years of chaos and silence.
Piece by piece, you can return.
Through truth-telling.
Through boundaries.
Through choosing yourself, even when it feels unfamiliar or selfish.
Coming back to yourself is the bravest act of love you will ever make.
Reflection Prompt
Where in your life have you bent so far for someone else that you forgot yourself?
What would it mean to take one step back toward you today?
You’re Not Alone
If these words resonate, know this: you’re not crazy, you’re not weak, and you’re not alone. So many of us have walked this same invisible road.
That’s why I created the Alchemy Starter Guide—
to help women like us begin the journey home to ourselves
with truth, compassion, and light.
Download it, breathe with it,
and let it be the first step back to you.
Download the Free Alchemy Starter Guide
Take your next step toward peace and healing.
Click below to receive your free guide —
may it bring comfort, clarity, and a gentle return to yourself.
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She went inward.
And her light came pouring out.
— Stephanie Stanley
Thank you for stopping in. More to come…🌙
Disclaimer: This writing is not a substitute for therapy. It’s soul-led support, rooted in compassion and lived experience.
The Alchemy of Her Light 